I Love/Hate America

THANKSGIVING: I DO NOT WANT WHAT I HAVEN'T GOT

Tomorrow, it's Thanksgiving Day. It is the most important, most celebrated non-secular holiday in America. More important than Christmas or any other religious or traditional holiday in the calendar.

When the Filipinos travel back to their hometowns and families to celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving is tantamount to Americans' homecoming. Originally celebrated to give "thanks to God" and as a religious holiday, this day had apparently become secular. The 1st Thanksgiving on 1863 was a day of gratitude to God for helping the pilgrims (the first English settlers in America) survive the harsh winter.

Before learning about the history of Thanksgiving Day, I somehow thought Thanksgiving should really be a "day for thanking God" for everything we have. By starting to count our blessings, and thanking Him for each of them, we feel lightened, encouraged, and more uplifted. We find happiness when we acknowledge all that we have that others do not have. Don't you know that it's true that the problems and lack of others are worse than our own? We gripe and whine in discontent because things do not happen the way we want them to be. Of course, we can feel sad and disappointed but this should not lead  us to go down in the dumps. Instead, let us look into  the things we are taking for granted that others will possibly die for.

Every time I feel unsatisfied, discouraged or sad, I'd snap out of it  whenever I begin to recount all that I have that others are wishing to possess.  We may never know that the things we take for granted are what others eternally crave for. And some of the things we yearn for are actually not for our good. God knows us as He has great plans for us and He definitely knows what not to give us and definitely knows what is best for us.

This reminds me of Sinead O'Connor's album title, "I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got." The title phrase is thought-provoking, as if to reflect man's source of discontent and agony. However, there are things in life that are not for us, that despite our efforts and fervent prayers, we cannot just attain them. We do not own what we all desire as it may also inhibit God's plan for us. If God had bestowed me financial wealth, there comes a responsibility that I may not be able to handle. It's also possible that riches can lead me to be puffed up with pride. Or it may lead to degradation of my values and priorities that may cause my family to suffer. He did not give me children because I might be too preoccupied with my own little ones that I forget the small needs of others. He did not allow us to live in a warmer region in this land, because the achievement of His purposes for us are all going to happen here. 

"In everything, give thanks, for this is the will of God." Thessalonians 5:18

God did  not create  us to be self-sufficient but to rely and trust Him in everything we need and want. We were also made to help each other that by giving ourselves to others, and others giving back to us is the real purpose of God's fellowship with men. If we have everything we want, we probably don't need anything at all, and this is dangerous especially if we forget that what we really need  is God. To the atheists and unbelievers, God does not exist because if God is god, then He would not allow sufferings from lack, want and poverty to exist in the world. Suffering does not make sense to most people. But God's ways are mysterious and hence don't make sense. Besides He did not assure us of a problem-free life, but peace, comfort and providence even  in the midst of all major screw-ups. Just like the pilgrims who celebrated the first Thanksgiving, offering gratitude to God who helped them go through the brutality of the cold season.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, my ways are not your ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

All I know, God does not want it of course, but He blesses certain people more so they can be  blessings to others. We are blessed and given so we can bless and give to others who desperately need us. In this way, those who are afflicted, poor, and depressed whom we have helped will glorify God through us who have helped and given them. 

Each day, I wake up thanking God for another day that I'm alive, hale and vigorous. I try not to dwell on the thoughts of what I do not have and instead focus on what I have that gives me joy. And here on my blog, I'd like to list down 10  things I'm grateful for.

1) That I have good health, free of sickness and infirmity. (Imagine the sick and the dying, AIDS victims, cancer-stricken patients, diabetics, etc.)

2) That I have a great, loving, God-fearing, handsome husband whose wit and humor never fail to amuse me,  who cooks delicious dinners every single night, and who is my "best friend forever." (Think of those who are still looking and searching desperately for their Mr/Mrs. Right

3) That I have a roof over my head, even though it's crammed with so much stuff, and not my ideal abode (Have you seen those TV footages of homeless people, and the poor living in shacks?)

4) That I have a very comfortable, warm, cushy bed to give me a restful snooze into the night (How could anyone survive a cold night lying down on a cemented pavement?)

5) That I have my old, reliable car which can transport me wherever I want to go, though it's not a BMW (Consider the conveniences and ease of having a trusted vehicle)

6) That I have 2 wonderful and very sweet mothers-- my Mama and my Mom (Some people do not have good relationships with their own mothers, and more people who have to endure monstrous mothers-in-law).

7) That I have projects to do that I can earn  little money from to buy my fashion and beauty whims. (What about the jobless?)

8) That we always have food on our table to sate my hunger, and even cravings. (There are gazillions of starving humans all over the earth who dream of nothing but food)

9) That I have a fast metabolism and no matter how much I eat, even without exercising, I stay slim and still weighs the same even after 25 years. (Think of those people who struggle with difficulties in losing weight to stay healthy).

10) That I have faith and trust in God, knowing that my comfort, help and strength are all in Him (Because otherwise, I'd fail miserably in life and probably would end up a loony or a loser).

Thanksgiving Day should not be just a once-a-year novelty where we gather with our annoying relatives and kin with a sumptuous fare of turkey and pumpkin pie. Instead, we should celebrate a moment of thanks each day. Don't you agree that each day should be a "Thanksgiving Day"?  Because if it is, I think we will never ever lose our mind, and the road to happiness will be easier to navigate.

How about you, what are you thankful for? Do you give thanks each day for what you already have? Or do you think you're unfortunate because you don't have what everybody has? Or do you think you're still unsatisfied thinking life is unfair because you believe that you deserve to get what you want?

Whatever....I wish you a "Happy Thanksgiving!"

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I DON'T SPEAK AS I WRITE

A lot of my readers think I write well. I do not believe it. They must be kidding me ---or they just want to be nice to me. But then, I take it as a compliment. This is not "false humility," however, I have to admit I trained myself to write. It did not come out from genes or any "natural powers." I started  reading books at age 5, and then weaving the words I learned into sentences and organizing them into a story at age 8. I wrote and wrote and wrote every single day until it became a profession at my adult age. I stopped writing when I came to the US when I had a string of jobs of taking care of babies of rich American parents, and scrubbing toilet bowls of humongous American mansions. Then I realized my writing deteriorated until it sucked. So I decided to blog to re-polish what I know I was training myself to do well.

When I started blogging, my readers not only tell me I  write good, but I also must speak well. Mmmm...well that, I strongly refute. Of course I speak fluent English. The trouble is," I  speak with an accent---a funny Filipino accent. Americans describe it "funny" even though I don't have any idea what "funny accent " means. And because my cognition is Filipino, I take time to organize my Filipino terms to English, and structure it the way the Americans do. Sometimes I end up stammering, or making no sense at all. There were times I feel alienated and discriminated because of the way I speak. I even attempted to remove my accent to speak like a real homegrown American.

My former career was all that glitz and glam, but I stayed behind the wheel. I didn't like speaking English in public or to any group of strangers. Even to an all-Filipino audience,  the fear of public speaking looms over me.  I get cold feet. Once I was asked to and somehow I could not refuse, my nerves were jangling erratically throughout my body. I wished at least some people could give me speaking tips before confronting that demon. But nobody did because I had to do it impromptu.

Oftentimes, I wish I could speak as good as I write. I do admire great speakers who can articulate themselves well with confidence even in public. It takes a lot of skills to become a good speaker. I often revere celebrity speakers in awe. They absolutely have the chops of enticing everybody to their cause just by opening their mouths. There are also speakers, often called motivational speakers who can change anyone's lives through the inspirational  and encouraging messages  they give to their listeners. Those speakers are amazing.

People do really have different abilities. My ability to just share my thoughts through writing is one thing I always want to do. Right now, it may not reap any big rewards or recognition, but the satisfaction of letting my thoughts go through written words is enough for me. I may not be a good speaker or even a good writer, but at least I do know people still hear me out through my "own little voice."

Ask me to write anything, I will. Just don't let me open my mouth in English.

WE LOVE ED HARDY

When I met my husband, I do have to admit he doesn't have the finest taste in fashion. In fact, he never did care about clothes as long as they're clean and appropriate for work. Besides his wardrobe full of long-sleeved work shirts and trousers, there were tons of shirts, T-shirts and sweaters that I find, well, just plain, bland and boring. I wanted to transform his 
dressing style but he was reluctant.

However, since he started gigging with a cover band that plays mostly dance, pop and rock, his fashion taste turned around. From "never-mind-me" clothes, he suddenly got interested in great looking duds that match his image of a rock-and-roll star. I eagerly helped him shop for Ed Hardy clothing which he really  loves because of its cool tattoo-like graphic designs, and embellishments. He is more attracted to the long-sleeved Ed Hardy tops which he saw on Journey's frontman, Ariel Pineda. Ed Hardy has a line for women's apparel and accessories too, and I just fell in love with their  Ed Hardy boots.

I find Ed Hardy's clothing line very cool and attractive. Colorful graphics are their signature looks that make them stand out from the rest. For party nights this holiday season, I will definitely wear an Ed Hardy item. Maybe boots or a top or a handbag. My rocker-husband and I will look good to any event we will go this season.

LUMINEERS FOR A BRIGHTER SMILE

My husband is no metrosexual. Just a typical no-nonsense guy who maintains the basics of grooming and cleaning; taking showers, shaving, moisturizing and of course, brushing his pearly whites. His teeth are perfect and he did a pretty good job at keeping them healthy. He keeps them fresh, clean and whitened. He said, his teeth used to be stained from cigarette-smoking. Now smoke-free for more than 12 years, he keeps his white smiles perfect by going to having regular dental check-ups.

His dentist had placed veneers on the surfaces of my husband's teeth to make them look brighter. I have to admit that they really do make his smile nicer and actually boost more confidence in him. In fact, I am  thinking of going for dental veneers soon because  they can be placed over my crowns. Cosmetic dentistry has gone a long way. Several years ago, it takes complicated procedures just to whiten and repair chipped teeth. But today, the wonders of veneers make it possible to restore your chipped, stained and slightly misaligned teeth to a wonderful smile.

E2EG, CUM NSYD: TEXT CODES IN 2 WORLDS

Just a few days ago, my husband and I went to see Mama in Queens Mall in New York. Usually, I have my cellphone with me, but this time, I left it at home. So I used my hubby's phone to text my mother where we at and asked her where she was. A few minutes later, my husband took his phone and read Mama's text message reply. "M nsyd @ Red Lobster." Husband's quizzical look turned to me and asked, "Baby, what's M for? and what's nsyd?" 

I requested Mama never to text my husband with Filipino text codes and instead spell them out and only use simple text lingo like "Pls,", "B4," W/" among others. Emphasizing my husband is not an American teenager who texts occasionally with all words spelled out, I pleaded to my mother to call him rather than using text.

This reminds me of another American pal who had a hysterical fit when he received a text message from his Filipino girlfriend. His sweetie sent this message;

"Wl u pls cum? Hury coz I nid 2 mke dis gud." (Translation: Will you please come? Hurry up because I need to make this good.)

He went on saying why is "come" shortened to "cum."  "Do they know what cum really means?"

The Filipino way of texting is so much different from Americans. Filipinos have been using SMS text messaging since mid 90's  around the time when the internet burst a phenomenon all over the world. Filipinos embrace text messaging so wholeheartedly,  developing a love affair with their cellphones passionately including the innovation like their own lifeblood.  Not only teenagers were into it but everyone of any age, sex, status, economic class and gender use SMS text messages to communicate. Since cellphone calling is more expensive than text messaging (1 Philippine peso for each text message sent, only charging the outgoing text message), Filipinos do not really call via their cellphones unless it's an emergency.

In America, text messaging came in around 2002. I remember it was T-Mobile, one of America's leading wireless provider first brought it here to the American public. SMS text messaging became an instant hit to the American teenagers. Of course, they never have to be heard by their parents or anyone what they want to talk about with their friends. It's somewhat an instant hideout concealing all their "private talk about sex, boys and other girls" from the ears of anyone whom they're hiding from.

Like Filipinos, they developed their own text codes, which mostly are just "internet chat codes" like "LOL!, BRB, LMAO, E2EG." But unlike Filipinos' cheaper substitute for instant communication, most American teenagers are hooked into texting because it allows them to keep  well-guarded privacy.

But unlike Americans, Filipinos text codes are way different from their American counterpart. As a more affordable alternative to cellphone calls, Filipinos keep an effort to squeeze more content in one text message. To do this is to shorten every word as possible in a way that can be still comprehended. For example, this message;

"Please do me a favor. Buy milk, chips, and diapers. Be home at 1:00 p.m. When you arrive home, throw the trash, and give baby a diaper change. Tomorrow is the deadline for our project, so work on it too."

This is the Filipino way of texting: "Pls do m favr. Buy mlk, chps, & diaprs. B hom @ 1pm. Wen u arrv hme, trow d trsh @ gve bb diapr chge. Tmw s d ddlyn 4 our prjt, so wrk on 8 2."

If a Filipino sends you this message, "Wen r we gona mit? I wana tok 2 u abt sumtng imprt, "  don't be alarmed by the spelling. In proper English, this translates to "When are we going to meet? I want to talk to you about something important." Of course, they know how to spell words, they just shorten the words as to how they sound to make the message still clear.

Honestly, I do not know how to translate the above message to the American text lingo. I don't normally use SMS text here . I only send text messages to my mother, who's very fond of it. I begged her to stop texting me and insisted she'd call me instead. But she continues texting.

Here is a sample of Filipino text codes which most Americans would find either a bit strange or hilarious.

Time---Tym

Come--Cum

Tomorrow--Tmw, 2mw

Landline---Lndlyn

Inside---Nsyd

With--W/ , Wid

Back--Bak, Bck

Sorry---Sowi, Sori

Good---Gud

Afternoon---P.M.

Morning---A.M.

I am---M, Me

Will---Wl

Can---Cn

See---C

Sleep---Slip

Tight---Tyt

House--Hauz

Someone--Sum1

Looking---Luking

Where, When, What, Why, Who ----respectively are; Wer, Wen, Wat, Y, Hu

The---D

This, That---Dis, Dat

Meet---Mit, Mt

Another, Other---Anudr,

Into---N2

Talk---Tok

Call---Kol

On the other hand, Americans, especially the American youth, do not use the same text lingo used by Filipinos, of course. They do have a more interesting method of transforming words into completely "alien-like text lingo" which requires memorization. So, if you're not familiar with their text codes, you would be completely lost. Texting codes for Americans are mostly derived from the first letters of the words. Some are from internet chat codes, which basically are numbers, abbreviations and characters. They are more unintelligible and befuddling to those who are not familiar to it. Unlike Filipino text codes, they don't really shorten the words, but instead use the first letter of the word.

Here are examples of American text codes;

?----I have a question

420---Let's get high

9---Parent is watching

AAP---Always A Pleasure

BGWM--Be Gentle With Me

CM--Call Me

DBAU---Doing Business As Usual

E2EG---Ear-to-Ear Grin

FTBOMH---From the Bottom of my Heart

GL2U---Good Luck to You

HTH---Hope This Helps

ICEDI--I Can't Even Discuss It

LMAO---Laughing My Ass Off

MIRL---Meet In Real Life

NOYB--None of Your Business

OOTD---One of These Days

P911---Parents Are Coming to the Room Alert

SIMYC--Sorry I Missed Your Call

W@---What

For more of these American SMS codes, click here.

In truth, I wonder how they change a "real message" into text codes. How do Americans change this message into SMS?

"I have no time to do my homework. I need to do some other stuff. We're packing for our trip to CO next week. I hope we can talk soon."

In a Filipino text message, this translates to; "Ive no tym 2 do my hmwrk. I nid 2 do sum oder stuff. Wer pckng 4 our trp 2 CO nxt wk. Hope we cn tok sun."

The adult Americans do send text messages too. But it's a combination of "spelled out words" and "teenage text lingo" such as this text message from a band co-member sent to my hubby;

"Dude, u know we need 2 brush up our set of songs. Was a major screw-up last nite. Remo is pissed but Lance was LHAO. Remo's asking OTT.".

The distinctness of the codes/lingo is clearly marked by the American younger generation's need of total privacy and safekeeping of their lives by obscurity. Whereas the  Filipinos' purpose of keeping in touch and connecting is more apparent on how they still want to be understood.

Obviously, dear readers, I know you have used texting to convey messages to your family, friends and business associates. But would you rather call and talk? Or still text? Or do you enjoy texting? Do you think using text codes ruin the English language? Are you a heavy texter?

If you're American, how do you  find Filipino text codes? And as a Filipino, what's your take on the American SMS text codes?

LUXURY VACATION RENTALS

Just a few days ago, I was talking about vacation rentals in Florida.  I thought it would be nice to go down there and have the vacation of my dreams. I was wishing for sunny Florida because I've never been there. The tropical Florida weather seems perfect for a home-grown tropical beach girl like me who now lives in the freezing coast of Connecticut. Aside from that, the most famed theme parks are all ther which I'm very fond of.

Then just a while ago, I had a nice tete-a-tete with my close pal from Boston. We were rambling about our Christmas vacation wishes. Coming from the same hometown where I hail from, she loves to get away from the winter blues. She said she wants to go to California and book one of those  luxury vacation rentals. She admits she desires  California luxury rentals because she is willing to pay for something that she will really enjoy just to get away from the stress of the holidays and of work. I told her I may not be able to afford a luxury vacation rental. But she said, there are discounted vacation rentals available. Mmm...that seems to be tempting.  Maybe in the near future, I'd go and get one and have a luxury vacation rental.

HACKERS, SEX WORKERS AND INEPT DOCTORS IN WHERE?

Popular culture has a way of disseminating certain ethnic groups into stereotypes. In American pop culture, images are conveyed as influenced by news  and events as they shape a socio-cultural impact on the American society. Russians are often portrayed as either die-hard communists or prostitutes. The Chinese and Japanese people are martial arts experts with Asian actors kicking butts  or sword-fighting onscreen. The Arabs are terrorists and the French are always fashionable, classy and elegant and Mexicans are either illegal immigrants and drug traffickers.

What about the Filipinos? Filipinos are not that so "popular" in mainstream American media. However, there few "citations and mentions" of Filipinos that did resonate among the American public. Some of them stirred controversy to the rage of Filipino communities in the USA and in the Philippines.

In American movies, Filipinos just fall into one category, militarymen  in the jungles as allies to American combat. But one exception could surprise you; when speaking, Filipino characters just only do one thing---they curse. The movies, "The Rock" with Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery, "Constantine" starring Keanu Reeves, and "Her Alibi" with Tom Selleck and Paulina Porizkova all have Filipino extras delivering Tagalog curses.

American TV fare is more audacious than Hollywood movies because they really categorize Filipinos with a certain image. Some of them are listed below;

1) HACKER ---Mentioned in NCIS.

Probably spurred by the notorious big-time Filipino hacker, Onel De Guzman in 2000 who created the ILOVEYOU virus.

"We have hackers coming from the Philippines."

2) SEX WORKER---Mentioned in Family Guy.

"You just came from Manila...you ate some lumpia...and you had sex with Filipino women."

As prostitution in the Philippines grows rampant and widely-known to tourists and American military, it's not a surprise Filipinos can be typified as such.

3) ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT--Mentioned in Family Guy.

(Sorry, I forgot the exact dialogue).

Mexicans are generally portrayed in movies and TV programs as the illegal immigrants, but the Filipinos are slowly gaining that image too. Filipinos are the 3rd largest group of migrants followed by Mexicans(1st) and Chinese (2nd).

4) INEPT PHYSICIAN ---Mentioned in Desperate Housewives by Terri Hatcher

"Okay, before we go any further, can I check those diplomas? 'Cause I would just like to make sure they are not from some med school in the Philippines."

This racial slur had enraged so many Filipinos both in the Philippines and in the USA, especially the Filipino medical workers. ABC, the producer of Desperate Housewives, issued a one-paragraph public apology after several Filipino-American groups protested to ABC. The apology was not  accepted.  Personally, I think this is the most "uncouth, uncivilized, and insensitive remark about Filipinos" by the American media. It was simply derogatory, defaming and humiliating to Filipinos. The writer of the story is probably anti-Filipino.

OR QUACK/VILLAGE DOCTOR---Shown in Lost Season 4, Episode 1

In the first episode, Desmond lands in a village on an island and the people there are speaking Tagalog. Desmond runs and looks for the doctor because his wife Penelope is about to give birth. The doctor successfully delivers the baby.

5) MAIL-ORDER BRIDE---Mentioned by Alec Baldwin on the Late Show with David Letterman.

"I'm thinking about getting a Filipino mail-order-bride at this point....or a Russian one."

With the proliferation of dating agencies specializing in Filipino mail-order brides, I think Filipinos should not be sensitive with this joke because somehow this is true. But Philippine senator, Bong Revilla was so outraged and demanded a public apology, that he challenged the actor to come to the Philippines as mayhem will ensue.

Though these images are shown in American pop culture, the Americans themselves do not blatantly express them personally right at your face. I have learned while living here for more than a decade that the usual remarks they associate with Filipinos are just 2 things; balut (A Filipino egg delicacy), and nurses.

However, American pop culture says a different thing. Does it?

Anyway, can you think another typical Filipino image being portrayed in American pop culture? Do you agree with me here? If not, why?

RELATED POSTS:

MY OWN LIST OF FAMOUS FILIPINO-AMERICANS AND FAMOUS FILIPINOS IN AMERICA

COLD WEATHER MEANS FANTASIZING ABOUT VACATION RENTALS

Winter is one season I've dreaded the most and I have not gotten used to it even after 10 years of living in the northeast coast of the USA. I still whine about it constantly though I know my griping does not make the cold weather go away and replace it with a warm tropical feel in the air. Usually, I long to go back to my hometown where the weather is like summer all year round. But that's about a million miles away.

So, I wish I'm in sunny Florida. I would get a vacation rental  and frolic around the beach all day long. My husband loves the waters and I'm quite sure he'd love to just bask in the sun with his mind off from the hassles of work in freezing New York. I heard that Fort Lauderdale is a very cool place so I'd probably book a Fort Lauderdale vacation rental. I prefer a condo unit facing a spectacular oceanview and just a few feet away from the beach. Or maybe, I would get a Naples vacation rental that's also fronting the beach. This will such an awesome experience away from the terribly chilly temps we're experiencing in Connecticut and New York.

MY AMERICAN DREAM HOME

For almost 4 years now, my husband and I have been nestling in this small yet cozy condo unit we bought in New Haven. Although the size of 1,000 sq. feet is enough for us, accommodating all the stuff my husband had a hard time parting away from, we confess we've outgrown our space. Part to be blamed is my hubby's ever-growing multitude of musical gear that absolutely drives me nuts.  Our 2-bedroom unit shrank into a 1 bedroom , 500 ft. space filled with foolishness that gradually crowd us both. The 2nd bedroom is used as his office/music studio. As if that's not enough, his music paraphernalia spills right into the living room. So now we are craving for a 3 bedroom house with 2 bathroooms, a basement, and an attached garage. The condominium building we currently live in is very old, with its brick exteriors that give away its age. Though very well-maintained, clean and quiet, one annoyance is that we do not have a garage. Instead, we have a shared parking lot that is actually a "grab-a-spot-and-park" kind of thing. When winter comes, the pain begins. Before driving our vehicles, we have to scrape off the ice off from all angles and sides. The most painful part, is that the building does not have a ramp. The building was not designed for babies nor for disabled persons. Hence, we also need to carry heavy bags and boxes of groceries from the car parked about 100 feet away from the building, go up about 10 steps of stairs then put down our bags on the floor, while opening the main entry door with the key, then placing your feet to block the door from closing back because it automatically locks when it's closed, then lift up your bags again and go down 3 steps to get an elevator that will take you up to your floor. Yeah, we need to go down to go up...it's the funny lay-out of this building. Why did we buy this property? My husband made an offer immediately after he learned that the unit's cost is a steal at $95,000 without even discussing it with me.

Now, we're bent to buy a new property---this time a house. Our Las Vegas plans have got to put on hold because Nevada is still in an economic turmoil and in a  job crisis. We don't have a definite target date when to move, but we might be looking for our American dream home  in late next year. We would like to move to another town, about 15 miles south, that would be nearer to my hubby's workplace. As I looked around online just to see what can we get for  with our budget of $250,000, I saw a lot of nice houses, although I'm sure the photos don't really reveal everything. A house with an attached garage, 3 bedrooms and at least 2 bathrooms, with a basement and a deck are in our wishlist. As I surfed around to see what's in the market, I'm so disappointed that most 3 bedroom houses have only 1 bathroom. There are even 4 bedroom houses that only have 1 bathroom. How could anyone live with 4 bedrooms and only 1 bathroom? I used to rent a  room in a house in New York, where there are 4 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. With that number of rooms, we were about 9 people living there sharing 1 bathroom everyday. Such situation made us schedule the usage of the bathroom, but when nature calls, sometimes we had to just hold it off. 

My American dream home. This house is in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. I snapped a photo because I wanted a house like it. Its backyard  is facing the beachwaters.

Well, I guess that's an American thing----more bedrooms, less bathrooms. Speaking of moving, our friend just moved to an apartment after relocating from California where he got laid off from his job. He went back to his hometown bringing his whole family in tow. Great thing, he did find a job here in the East Coast while his wife is still searching. With 3 kids, he could hardly make ends meet, but he said he was still grateful he has a job to feed his kids' mouths and to provide a roof over their heads. However, they could not afford heating. That sucks, when I heard him told me about this. At night, they all just cuddle up with electric blankets to make them sleep comfortably.

I could not have no heat. With my tropical upbringing, I'm still quite fearful of the dreadful cold weather. My friend being a native New Englander who's used to the chill, still abhors the freezing temps of winter. My heart went crushing when I heard that they don't have heat because he couldn't afford it. So I advised him to get payday loans  that would help him take through the winter season. Even if they don't have all the shebang of a traditional Christmas celebration, at least, I told him that at least, the could enjoy a warm  Christmas together at their home. I urged him to check out Fastwire Cash that gives instant approval and assures protection of identity.

Anyway, I'm so grateful that we have heat in our home. Despite what it lacks thereof, I am still very happy that my husband and I have a warm home. And the warmth doesn't stop even after the winter, as love, laughter and peace always abide in our home. I then realized that no matter how small or how imperfect our condo unit is, my American dream home is here----my family who resides in my heart everywhere I go. And that's enough heat to keep me warm all year long.

How about you, what is your dream home?

CEILING FANS FOR A SALON

In my previous posts, I have dished about my cousin's new spa biz. it  Recently, it was formally opened and launched to the public for  serious business.  The spa is absolutely looking great with plush interiors reminiscent of the French Provincial style. My cousin hired a good interior designer to make sure the spa is homey, inviting and serene-like to anyone who comes inside.

HONESTLY, DO YOU REALLY LIKE TWITTERING (OR TWITTING)?

I had been into Twitter since last year and I only have 466 followers to date. Today, I am still wondering how other people could gain 10,000 followers. Did they pay that tool which gets you followers for a fee? Or did they go to each user's page and follow everyone on their follower lists?

I still do not understand this Twitter thing. Although I have read numerous articles raving about the wonderful things Twitter has done to their business or blog, I still don't get it. It seems Twitter is a hodgepodge of all sorts of people, of all sorts of purposes, with all sorts of information that no one wants to really know about. 

One blogger who runs a moneymaking blog swore that he gets traffic from Twitter. Well, it's no puzzle because he follows more than 19,000 people and has almost 23,000 followers. Well, he better has to get followers and traffic because blogging is the only source of income he ever has. I have nothing against Twitter. Its creator was brilliant enough to transform SMS to the web. But it has a lot of limitations. I do not even think it's micro-blogging. How could you blog with only 140 characters allowed? What do they micro-blog about? Most users are just like "shouting and yelling" to everybody yet at no one in particular, and it's like nobody ever listens to them.   And the worst thing is, most users just twit stuff that no one cares about. Who cares about what you have for dinner? Or how nice and hot your coffee is? Isn't coffee supposed to be nice and hot? Who cares if you have to pick up your kids after blogging? Or who gives a damn that you feel lousy and cranky today? Maybe each thought that comes into mind is fascinating and ought to be shared. to everybody. These are strangers, people. Unless you follow only people you know and only people who know you follow you, then that might be interesting or "news."  And truthfully, how much of these information could anyone really absorb?

The co-founder of Twitter, Evan Williams said that Twitter is not a social network, but an information network, " What we have to do is deliver to people the best and freshest most relevant information network. It tells people what they care about as it is happening in the world." However, most users make Twitter like a "channel with a microphone" screaming to everybody whatever they want to say and whatever their thoughts are, which they think are so important that others care about and are fascinated about.

Honestly, I don't like Twitter. I just follow whose blog I like to read or those who regularly reads my blog. I don't follow PR agencies, copywriting professionals, fitness experts, internet marketing businesses, work-at-home hocus-focus websites, porn stars, celebrities, and bloggers who write non-English blogs (except Filipino ). At the end of each month, I unfollow people. Those who have not followed me for 2 months and are  still actively engaged in Twittering, I unfollow them. I used the FriendorFollow.com to determine who are those users I follow who don't follow me back, so I can unfollow them. In the same manner, people unfollow me probably because I don't twit that much or I just Twit my blog updates or other significant online articles. Or because I twit repeatedly the same thing over and over again.

If you're asking why I'm into Twitter even if  I don't  fancy  it, it is because every blogger I know has a Twitter account. My blog platform, Typepad has this cool feature that automatically shares my blog post to Twitter each time I publish it. (Typepad aslo shares it with your Facebook and FriendFeed accounts). How could I not use it when it's available, right? I also would still like to believe that it can generate traffic to my blog, even if I still don't see massive results from Twitter. I also go to Twitter to see what my network is Twittering all about and I only read twits that are relevant and not those which are like a chronicle of their minute-by-minute mundane world.

There are so many testimonials about the power of Twitter. But unless I see its results manifested in my life, then surely I would believe that. Meanwhile, I will keep on twittering (or is it Twitting?)

Honestly, do you really  like Twittering?

PHOTO BLANKET

Right now, I am making my Christmas list. There are only 48 days before Christmas. I've been wracking my head about what to give to my mother-in-law. Usually, I get stumped when it comes what to give her. You see, she has fine and elegant taste. But on a tight budget, my husband and I could not afford to buy designer brand goods or high-end products that are  priced way above our means. However, I got this idea online. I found out that a Photo Blanket  is usually appreciated and well-received by anyone regardless of taste.

I'd submit a photo of her and her cat, and the photo will be replicated onto a blanket , warm enough to snuggle during the cold season. Oh, I love this idea. I must hurry up now and look for those nice photos of my mom-in-law and her cat. I'm absolutely sure she would love this unique Christmas gift.

WHY PACMAN IS ADORABLE

I confess I am not a fan of Manny Pacquiao. Just because I do not like to watch violent sports such as boxing. But as a Filipino, I cannot help but take pride of this man whose diminutive  frame, and lack of academic education had propelled his own country to make a mark in the international scene.

Last November 4, he guested in the American TV talk show, "Jimmy Kimmel Live" where he talked about his dog, his kids, his movie and his forthcoming fight on November 14. When you watch this clip, you would  be amused at his candor whenever he answers Jimmy's questions. Despite his poor English, he did pretty well on making his points come across. His sincerity is what makes him so adorable, and the humility he showed is exemplary, "Actually he,(Cotto) is the  champion of this fight and I'm just the challenger." 

And I remember after winning the fight against Hatton last May, Manny said  "I'm just doing my job."

This is probably why Manny succeeds in knocking every opponent down---his genuineness, his humility, hard work and determination are the qualities of every true winner. 

Watch this clip, I assure you, it's delightful. Be sure to watch the two (2) parts.

PART 1

PART 2

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THE IMPORTANCE OF WEB DIRECTORIES

If you are a blogger or a website owner/author, chances are, you want your blog to gain presence among millions of websites online. Search engines do help when you properly apply popular keywords in your site which in turn elevates page ranking. But most of the time, a user wants to search for something based on category, and that is why website directories are more useful. Search engines and web directories are related. However, search engines have automated spiders crawling the content of your website, while web directories do not. Instead,  search engines crawl upon links listed on those high -ranking websites and thus increases your site's visibility. When your blog or website is listed in a high-ranking web directory, you'd be amazed it leads to great results. By linking to a high-PR web directory, your site will have a high probability to increase its page rank.

TO TIP OR NOT TO TIP

Probably, everyone of us knows what tipping is. Tipping  or granting gratuity for services rendered by workers who are "trained" and "conditioned" to sweet-talk with an almost Tupperware-plastic smile-and-grin at their customers while mumbling expletives at their customer's backs. It is also is practiced almost all developed and developing countries in the world.

In the Philippines, tipping is accepted although not a general rule because as a poor, starving nation, people are penny-pinching, and trying to get exactly back  the amount of money they actually own is the norm. In Japan, tipping is non-existent, and is considered impolite.

But in America, tipping is similar to an "unspoken, unwritten law" but everybody practices it like if you break the rules, you'd be penalized in a detention cell for a day  to a  year in prison. So, every American tips. No matter how crappy the job is, every American customer should tip. From the hairdresser, hair shampooer, waiter/food server, bartender, doorman, driver, or practically anyone who keeps flashing  that signature, almost obnoxious, toothy smile even if there's nothing to smile about. Or to anyone who just keeps asking  you , " How are you today?" Worse, you still have extend that extra bucks even if they simper, smirk, scowl or sulk.

I usually tip if I am paying. But because I usually patronize Filipino business establishments around in Queens in New York City, I did not have to be conscious about my tipping habits. I tipped whatever amount I wanted to. When my husband and I started dating, he usually paid through a debit card including tips. Hence, we never met any trouble with the workers-for-tips. Always conscious about the exact amount of tips, my husband keeps it straight. If he likes the way you handle and treat his needs, he can be more than  big-hearted.

So used to this lifestyle in America, I never had a trouble with tipping except for one time. A hairstylist at Creative Haircuts around here in our area in New Haven, yelled at me when I asked her to blowdry my hair. It was a day before Christmas and I was feeling a little bit generous but because of her snippy behavior, I did not give a tip. I did not care whether she'd bitched about it because by nature, she was one. Good thing, she did not run after me.  I never went back to that hair salon again. However, I got around to think about it myself. Why should I tip if I do not like the service or if it's a lackluster, so-so "performance?" I learned that it's just the way it is. And nobody complains around here.

Until one day, my friend from Dubai who's well-travelled (because of her previous job's perks) visited  the world's greatest city--New York City. She and her husband had experience "the New York City tipping law," which apparently threw her off. After dining in a posh Manhattan restaurant,  the waiter chased the couple outside on the street just to tell them they still owe the waitstaff a dollar for gratuity. Of course, whilst in the sidewalk , in downpour, the hubby fumbled through his pocket and handed the $1.00 to the waiter who obviously was panting from his frantic sprint to catch the couple in the street for his meager buck. My friend, in shock, could not believe it happened.

Of course, she does not understand it.  Europeans are not familiar with the custom of tipping in the U.S.  Her lifestyle, attitude, and taste are European. And the restaurant staff does not embrace European's manner of tipping. The incident  had surely upset her. In Europe, tipping is not obligatory, nor mandatory. They tip just because they want to, not because they must. My friend told me this story, growing a scorn on the "greatest city in the world." I've also learned that New York City service workers hate the Europeans when they tip because they tip from anywhere to $0 to $3 regardless of the total amount of the bill.

Another incident occurred when my visiting friends from Los Angeles visited New York City. The couple and I were in downtown Manhattan's Chinatown shopping when we stopped for early dinner at a Chinese (of course) restaurant. When we finished, my friend paid. I footed the tip, but not enough so we all stood up  from our seats fishing through our pockets and purses for a few more one dollar bills for the tip. But before we could find any coins or a dollar, the waiter neared us and said, "You've got to give us more tip. You see, the total is $23.00 , 15 % should be the tip. The tip should be $3.45." I was so flustered with embarrassment. My friend said, "Of course we know. We're not finished yet. And we're not leaving either. We are still searching for more money to give you."

The nerves of these people! I could  just grit my teeth. At that moment, I wanted to take back the money. I was disgusted. My friend's experience with the sprinting waiter  was horrifying. And ours was also the same thing.

For those of you who are not familiar with U.S. tipping rates, the waitstaff or foodservers are usually tipped from 15 % to 20  % off the total amount of the bill. So does the bartender. Also, a limo driver, colorist and hairstylist expects that 15% to 20% gratuity money they all think they deserve. Because of the high percentage of tipping for the waitstaff and foodservers, most restaurant owners pay them low wages or even below the minimum. This is probably why the paranoia gets them because if they don't have the exact amount of  tip,  then they would really  have a terribly bad day.

Being in the U.S. for so long, I have been accustomed to this nationally-sanctioned "etiquette." Personally, I think this practice does not achieve anything but the tolerance of "bad service" and instead rears a greedy purpose in "service-oriented" entities.  I strongly opine that those countries like Japan have a better service than those countries who support tipping. What if  you are unsatisfied with the rendition of the job that he's supposed to do? Will you have to tip the right amount exacted by "law" even if you feel he's undeserving of such gratuities?  Yes, here in America. However, no matter how displeased you are with the service, in the exception of a real terrible one, you are OBLIGATED to tip.

How about you, do you think it's fair to tip these  service employees when other types of workers  also toil hard as much as they do without expecting a tip? Do you tip? Do you tip the exact rate of the total bill? Do you, at times, feel you should not tip or should tip less,  to somebody' service because his "performance" wasn't that competent and gratifying enough? In the place where do you come from, what's the law in tipping, if there's any? Have you encountered such occasions where you were overtly asked for tips?

AN AUCTION SITE BETTER THAN E-BAY

Years ago, I tried that E-bay thingie. You know, just for curiosity sake as I had heard a lot about it. They said that they snagged great deals of used, slightly used and even brand-new items and goods. My husband also tried it. I thought it was good but what I did not like is that I had to wait for a couple of days to find out if my bid had won. Other disadvantages of buying from Ebay is the high rate of fraud and scams. Many Ebay buyers had ranted about how they were phished and scammed by unscrupulous sellers. This is because Ebay, by its nature is a very large, international marketplace which is a tempting site for frauds to prey on consumers.

But I found another alternative. It is a unique auction site that sells brand new (not used and not slightly-used) products for buyers and consumers to bid at less than a day. or only for a day. The remarkable difference of this auction site from any other, is that the prices are so incredibly low. What makes it so unique is that the  products are auctioned in different time frames. There is the speed auction where the countdown is significantly shorter. The winner of the bid at the 0 dollar-auction wins the product without paying a single cent on it and shipping cost is free. The 20-second auction is where the auction starts at 20 seconds and with every bid placed, the countdown increases by 20 seconds. Similarly, the 15-second auction operates in the same manner with 15 seconds added to each bid placed. Also, a 10-second auction takes place while a fixed price auction allows the winning bidder to pay the price suggested in the heading.  This really sounds cool and way much better than Ebay.

DAYS OF THE DEAD

(When making a negative comment, if you ever have, please do read the whole post before doing so)

As  Christians (but not Catholic), we do not celebrate Halloween in our family or household . Although this day is attributed to catering fun  and pleasure to kids, its origins are deeply rooted in paganism, practice of witchcraft and sorcery, and closely connected with the worship of the Enemy of the World (Satan). It is a holiday that mostly glorifies the "dark things of the world" rather than the Light of the World (Jesus Christ).

However, America celebrates this ancient holiday still, and with its popularity, the reality of occultism, witchcraft, neo-paganism, spiritism and satanism are all associated with Halloween. In fact, witches celebrate Halloween as much as your little ones dressed up in their terrifying costumes. Horror movies and gruesome murder movie scenes are Halloween fares in the entertainment world.  This holiday was not recognized in America until in the 1800's when a large wave of immigrants from the Celtic areas of Europe brought their Halloween practices with them. The Celts are heathen tribesmen from Ireland, Scotland, France and other parts of Western Europe.

In the ancient days, the Celts believed that during October 31 when summer ends , the spirits and ghosts of the dead visit the land of the living looking for human bodies to inhabit. To confuse  and scare the spirits and ghosts away, the pagans dressed up in costumes and  paraded around the streets making loud noises. They also set bonfires to frighten evil spirits and leave food outside their doors to ghosts and demons so they would not harm the living inside their houses. During this time, the celebration of Samhain  marks the transition from  its summer goddess to the horned god of the winter solstice, from the lighter half of the year to the "darker half of the year"  which is the Celtic New Year.   Samhain is the name of their "god of death", and on that day, Samhain permits the dead souls to visit the living ones.  Thus, skulls, cemeteries, skeletons, corpses  and other ghoulish images were used to symbolize death.  Also the Druids, the priests of the Celtics, offered human sacrifices to Samhain. Because of the various practices of witchcraft, sorcery and occultism, during this day,  Halloween is deemed objectionable for a Christian to celebrate.

No matter how commercialized Halloween is and being perceived as a "holiday for kids to play dress-up", Halloween has almost completely pagan roots. But as Christians, we do have a choice to celebrate or not to celebrate Halloween. The Bible does not have any scriptural pronouncement against Halloween. But God is against evil and witchcraft practices;

"You shall not let a witch live." Exodus 22:18

"Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or cast spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the the dead. Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord.." Deuteronomy 18:10-12

"Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them..." Leviticus 19:31

"I will set my face against the person who turns to mediums and spiritists to prostitute himself by following them, and I will cut off from his people" Leviticus 20:6

In Acts 8:9-24, the story of Simon reveals that Christianity and sorcery cannot mix, and the account of Elymas the Sorcerer in Acts 13:6-11 tells us that sorcery is violently opposed to Christianity.

Now the question is, is there anything evil in dressing up, going door-to-door asking for candy and sweets? No, there is nothing. As long as you make sure your children do not participate in activities that involve the darker aspects of Halloween, and their costume,  attitude and behavior all reflect a redeemed life, then there's really nothing wrong in celebrating this day that is currently geared for kids. Though the Roman Catholic Church sees a Christian connection with Halloween, some fundamentalist churches view negativity in Halloween. There are also a number of  Christian denominations holding that the tradition does not carry "satanic influences" and poses no threat to children's spiritual growth. Yet some Christians discourage even the donning of costumes and trick-or-treating.

Nevertheless, some Christians celebrate it instead  by holding a "harvest party" without the innocuous costumes. Some hand out candies and chocolate treats to church members and their children with messages from the Bible. 

What matters most is that we, Christians, don't let our convictions about a holiday sever relationships with people. Neither we can use our freedom to make others stumble in their faith.

"Accept him whose faith is weak without passing judgment on disputable matters." Romans 14:1

Anyway, let me remind you that  Halloween was like, something new to me when I first set foot here in America. You see, in the Philippines where I originally hail from ,  Halloween is not a holiday. Instead, All Souls Day and All Saints Day are commemorated on November 1st and November 2nd, after Halloween. When I was doing this research about Halloween, I was surprised that there are distinctive similarities of these holidays---the common factor is spirits of the dead.

Originally introduced by the Spaniards who colonized and ruled the Philippines in the 15th century, All Saints (or Todos Los Santos ) and All Souls Day are celebrated in the Catholic-dominated Philippine islands. When the Romans invaded the British empire, including the whole of Ireland and Scotland, the Catholic Church took over the Samhain celebration starting on the eve of November 1 which the pagans call "All Hallows Day." But "All Hallows Day" was never considered a Christian holiday. Instead, the Catholic Church honor the souls of the saints during this day. November 2 was also ascribed by the Catholic Church to be the "feast of all souls" to honor and pay respect to the dead whose souls are still in a state of limbo  (in purgatory) before going to either heaven or hell. This is specific to the Roman Catholic Church who believes that there exists the souls of the departed faithful who have not yet been purified nor have reached heaven.

In the Philippines, All Saints Day or "Araw ng Namayapa" (Day of the Deceased), usually starts on the eve of October 31st when the families of the dead clean, repaint or repair tombstones,  adorn them with flowers, lit up candles, put up tents over the tomb markers or tombstones and set food. Most families spend an overnight stay, camping and sleeping at the tents they pitched around their dead's tombstones. The observance prevails until November 2 which is "All Soul's Day" . The Philippine government declares these days as national holidays giving all Filipinos the privilege to observe them.

But instead as a solemn homage to the dear departed, the holiday intended for the souls is apparently a joyous celebration for Filipinos with a party-like atmosphere in cemeteries. Pop music, food stalls, and commercial booths teem around the cemeteries capitalizing on the profit potentials of the holiday. These rituals are odd to other Christian nations but, to Filipinos the merriment of these holidays are "in celebration with the dead" believing that this holiday can lift the spirits of their  burdens of losing a loved one. Filipinos are generally happy people who want to remember their exultant moments with their dead relatives when they were alive rather than observing these holidays soberly and pensively.

Now that I'm here in America, I do not look forward to this holiday anymore. Besides , being a Christian, I don't believe in the Catholic tenet of purgatory . These holidays for saints and the deceased are not parts of the American culture and tradition. What I do  instead is offer a special prayer for my late father and  deceased grandparents. 

What about your stand on Halloween? Do you celebrate it? Do you believe it has strong dark and evil practices? Do you believe in purgatory? Do you think the Filipinos way of joyously celebrating All Saints and All Souls Days contradict the purposes of paying respect to the departed souls?

CHEAP HOTEL RATES

Yesterday, one of my Facebook friends, posted new photos of her recent trip to Paris, Zurich and Barcelona. The photos captured her spending cherished moments with her husband. The couple always take frequent travels around the world and the great thing about their journeys is that they're mostly spontaneous.

A WINTER BOOTIE CALL

Last week, the weather was dreadful, more like frightful. A sudden deluge of rain, thunderstorm and hail bombarded the northeast. Temperatures were also dipping to the 30's that called for everyone to grab their pouffy winter down jackets. I could not believe it myself that I have to turn up the heat to high because  as early as last week for days because the weather was icky, yucky, and crappy. It was more like January in October. I wanted to go home.

You know, most of my  regular readers here  know that I absolutely detest the winter season. Coming from the 7,100 tropical islands of the Philippines where the weather is summer all year round, I'm still not used to the chill here in this side of America.  It's only October and fall had just started less than a month ago, and things had already started to be bitterly cold. When cold days overwhelm me, I always go down in the dumps. I yearn to go home to my warm motherland.

But instead of booking a flight back to my country, I hit Walmart to buy a new pair bootie slippers. My feet get cold first sending me chills all over my nerves and muscles. That is why I make sure my feet are always covered all day and all night. Then we have to stock up lip balms/moisturizers. My favorite is  the eco-friendly Burt's Bees. I also have to double up the gobs of  hand cream. I used Avon last winter, but this time, I am going to try the one I got as a gift from purchase of Yves Rocher products.  The freezing temps cause my hands to get really dry. My husband bought two Snuggies which we love. A Snuggie is a fleece throw with sleeves that allow your hands free to do anything. We also took out the electric blanket. At night, we don't turn the heat on, but instead bundle up with our electric blanket that we got for $60 last year. It definitely reduced our heating bills in the winter. Also, my husband and I applied plastic film  on to our windows to block any gaps causing cold air to seep indoors. This technique has been helpful to us in saving electricity by avoiding usage of the heater all day.

Socks with Toes

Our ever reliable electric blanket

 

Plastic for windows

 

My Snuggie

Slipper booties from Walmart

Connecticut's electricity cost is the highest in continental USA. Another reason for us to get out of this cold, rich state. Don't ask me how much we pay because I don't even want to tell you. It's ridiculously expensive. 

Anyway, an online buddy, PJ of PJ's Prose had sent me a nice gift---an early Christmas gift perhaps? She sent me a sample of her homemade body lotion and facial scrub. I was thrilled. She concocted this lotion and facial scrub herself at the comfort of her home. I tried the lotion and gee, it was good. It did not leave a greasy feeling and it made my skin really soft and silky. I'm very picky about exfoliating my face with scrubs because some products have harsh granules or grains that do more harm than good to the skin. I only use Aveeno Daily Radiance Exfoliating Facial Scrub. But I tried PJ's facial scrub anyway, and I was surprised it was gentle enough to use.  Plus of course, the scrub was made from natural ingredients, as well as the lotion.

 

PJ's lotion and facial scrub samples

Well then, right now, I am bracing myself for the comeback of subzero temps  in the next few weeks.  I know I will hate it, but that's what I have to live with. Things may be uncomfortable and I may never like it. However, each season brings is a hope. Just like life, there's a season that is always temporary and fleeting. The most important thing, there is always a promise that all of us pass through each season. As God created seasons to teach us  the promise of His faithfulness, He also teaches us that His faithfulness and our perseverance guarantees that life will not overcome us, but we will overcome it.

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